looseness.
Wednesday, November 25 1:03:00 PM
Hey everyone. I went for Discipleship Program in church for the two nights and I've learned much within that four hours. Graduated from New Life 101, hehehee! Pastor Jadeline, sis Karen and sis Angie, thank you! =) I am looking forward to learn the rest and gain a profound insight of His words. Amen.
Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. (Romans 12 : 2)
Do you know that we always interpret things with our own experience, thoughts and with the influence of people around you? We make our own initial conclusions based on these, and at the end, it maybe true or phony. Whether you like it or not, these indeed makes up the way we think, the way we express ourselves, and just you yourself.
If you are on the right path with Him, you will do just fine even with uneven boulders of life. If you are not and still struggling to be someone but not you just to fit in, well, open your heart to Him and think again.
All this while, I have been a big people-pleaser. I have always put others before me and this guileless of mine had actually brought me into a seriously appalling experiences back in my secondary school. Whatever I do, wherever I go, whoever I am with, people just know it and they talk about it and even worse some of them alter the stories into unpleasant ones. And I don't please people for my benefits, it is just one of my character. Yes, there are certain parts that I really cannot forgive myself for being so idiotic to please the wrong people. I let them have their control over me, me myself you know. I should not, yes I know.
I feel so guilty for myself. And this guilt that I have been carrying for years ever since then just popped out when Pastor Jadeline was talking about seeking freedom from guilt. Not just this guilt, the silly mistakes that have been haunting me all this while too. It was a swift flashback and then... I came across this.
"Though you are aware of your wrong doings, you DO NOT have the ability to erase your guilt. Only the forgiveness of God can remove your guilt. When you confess your sins to God, He will forgive you and give you a clear conscience."
In that chair I was sitting down, I said to myself that it is time for me to drop this guilt right now and move on to experience His new life as I have asked Him to save me. All these miseries just peter out! And you can never imagine my feelings right now. The next morning I woke up motivated with His peace. I feel so much better! I just stopped weeping over this matter. Like what sis Karen said last night, the church is for sinners. I have done mistakes in my life, who did not? Even the presidents, the judges, your parents, the person who you look up to, they too make mistakes. And and and...mistakes perfect us! =D I didn't say that I will stop making mistakes, but at least I will be able to reduce the proportion of my own wrong decisions.
Karen shared some of her testimonies and everyone was enthralled, really! Absolutely out of the ordinary nights for me. And I am hoping that I will feel His countless works too like He did in her life. I believe I will.
I am not seeking for forgiveness, but the Forgiver. I am not searching for healing, but the Healer. I am not asking for deliverance, but the Deliverer. I am not hunting for love, but the Lover. I am not striving for restoration, but the Restorer. I don't want to be saved, but I need the Savior. As He is my everything, together I will be given with forgiveness, healing, deliverance, love, restoration and be rescued! =')
God gives us salvation, restoration, renewal, healing, deliverance and providence.
Astonishing! Well, friends, I wanna share all that I have absorbed in this program with you. If you are guys are free, just let me know. You can either come over to my house, text me, go out for a drink, or MSN. It is not bad thing for sure, I am sharing the good stuffs here. As much as I can help, I will do so. =)
God bless everyone^^
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